Invasion of the Bats

With all the drama with the economy, the election and my knee (which seemed to be just "okay" on my short run last night) I felt the need to write something a little light-hearted today.

I regularly browse news sites and I have to say I've noticed an alarming trend lately. Bat scares. And not just simple office invasions (like what happened at Dunder-Mifflin's Scranton branch) and night-time swooping.

On Monday I discovered a story about a woman whose home was invaded by a bat. Rather than panic and not rest until the little felon was either exiled from her home or exterminated, she simply set up her coffee maker for the next morning and went to bed. The next morning, her coffee maker turned on as scheduled and she enjoyed a piping hot cup of coffee. But when she went to throw out the coffee filter she discovered the boiled body of the bat inside. Since the bat's brains were to cooked to determine if it was infected with rabies, the woman had to undergo rabies treatment just in case.

Today on Foxnews.com I came across yet another bat-related article. A Montana woman thought her children's kindergarten and fifth-grade classmates might like to get a look at a dead bat that she found. Now, we could go on and on about this mother's poor judgment of bringing a dead animal to her children's elementary school. And we could go on and on about how the teachers or principal should probably not have allowed a dead bat to be brought into a school classroom. Or let the children touch the dead bat. But clearly the only one here with malicious intent is the bat that died where he knew he could potential infect dozens of children with rabies.

Clearly what we are seeing here is an attempt by the bat community to replace human beings as the Earth's dominant species. What had started as a mere terror campaign of vampire stories, occasional home invasions and food infestation has now been escalated to regular biological attacks on people around the globe. Their message is clear "beware the bats" and our response must be equally clarion.