To Ted Thompson, Mark Murphy, Mike McCarthy and anyone else who may be in charge of the money:
It has recently come to my attention that you have offered Brett Favre $20 million to NOT show up to training camp, NOT play football for the Packers or any other team and stay retired.
I would like the opportunity to bid on this position that Favre has been offered. I am far more experienced in not playing professional sports and would probably serve the Packers far better the Favre in this capacity. You see, I have not played professional, collegiate, high school or even Pop Warner football in my entire life. I have a solid 28 years of experience not playing football.
How can you trust someone who has been an NFL MVP, won a Super Bowl, and served the Packers as starting Quarterback for 16 seasons to not play football? Favre has talked a good talk about not playing football, but he's made it clear that not playing football is not where his passion or his talents lie . I think my record makes it clear that I will be a much better non-football player than Favre for the 10 years that has been offered in the contract.
In fact, I don't even need $20 million dollars. For the sum of $15 million for the next 12 years I will be willing to not play football in the NFL. That's two extra years for five million dollars less. In fact, I will even quit my current job and not take a steady job anywhere else for those 12 years and I will definitely not work for another NFL club. I'd use that time to give back to the community that has supported me so much for the 28 years I have not played football and given me the opportunity to show you just how good of a non-football player I can be.
Obviously, the non-work clause would have to have exclusions to allow me to run, cycle, and well ... blog, but that is something we can work out at the bargaining table. I look forward to hearing from you soon.