Then yesterday, while lamenting this to a coworker I learned something amazing. The candy machine wasn't broken, the light was just out. So today I went downstairs to try it out and lo and behold (what exactly does that mean, anyways?) it proved to be true! And there was a new item in the machine:
(Normally you would see five different colored candies within the wrapper, but this one, like the calories it once contained, is empty.)
And what's really great about Chuckles is that it has five flavors all distributed equally in every package: Lemon, Lime, Orange, Licorice (of the black variety) and Red. I'm not entirely sure what flavor "Red" is, but I suppose it's one of the standard red fruits such as Cherry, Strawberry or Ligonberry. This stands in great contrast to your standard bag of gumdrops that has an inordinate number of orange and lemon drops which, as in gatorade, are the least desirable yet most abundant. (This is also true for popsicles and other non-dairy frozen treats.)
Now I must daily deal with the knowledge that there is a functioning candy machine in the dining room and force myself to either satisfy myself with the stash of Kashi treats in my desk drawer or succumb and deny myself the chocolatey goodness of a "Large Size" Kit-Kat bar and go with Baked Lays...or possibly Chuckles.